A fairytale relationship is often just limited to movies and in fictional characters on TV, and people who have actually been in marriages- even in successful ones- can vouch that reality is often completely different.
We are conditioned with the idea of perfect relationships and marriages where every day is a walk on the beach and a bed of red roses, however, there is often too much struggle, sacrifices and effort put in from both sides to make a relationship work. And for some people, this doesn’t work out. Their marriages fall apart and it leads to a messy divorce.
Marriage and Divorce
Marriages and divorce are very common experiences that almost every man, woman and LGBTQ goes through in their life. Marriage is often a result of two partners falling in love and wanting to spend their whole lives together. The act is legally binded by a collection of vows that both the groom and the bride say in front of witnesses and the people they love. This is a testimony of them being together in sickness and in health and they vow to support each other unconditionally.
Couples then begin their journey together, move into their own homes, have children and spend the rest of their lives in each other’s comfort and longing. But what is often not talked about are the sleepless nights, the sacrifices made to keep the relationship going, the arguments and fights that are handled, the tears and sorrows and often loneliness that a person may feel.
To keep a relationship going requires an equal amount of effort from both sides, and two people who are genuinely committed to one another make time for each other, communicate rather than assuming and truly go out of the way to get over hurdles in their marriage.
Divorce Meaning
Divorce is the legal annulment of a marriage relationship of two spouses, this can be initiated by either of the spouses and often it goes to court if it isn’t settled domestically. After a couple is divorced, decisions like child custody, alimony and settlement issues arise which need to be solved as soon as possible.
A divorce legally marks the end of a relationship- a break up that is more severe and permanent. Spouses are allowed to marry other people once the divorce is finalized, and may not maintain contact with their former spouses if the court orders.
What percentage of Marriages end in Divorce?
According to statistics, around 50% marriages end in divorce. Around 42-45% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages end in divorce and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
Iowa has the lowest divorce rate, with Illinois, Massachusetts, and North Dakota right behind. Nevada has the highest divorce rate in the nation, followed closely behind by Arkansas, West Virginia, & Oklahoma.
This graph looks at the age groups of those getting divorced:
| Age | Women | Men |
| Under 20 years old | 27.6 % | 11.7 % |
| 20 to 24 years old | 36.6 % | 38.8 % |
| 25 to 29 years old | 16.4 % | 22.3 % |
| 30 to 34 years old | 8.5 % | 11.6 % |
| 35 to 39 years old | 5.1 % | 6.5 % |
Note: Sample rates have been extracted online, courtesy of McKinley Irwin.
Causes of Divorce
According to sources, the primary cause of divorce is financial issues. There are couples that go through the divorce process usually because of unsettling finances, and their struggle of making ends meet. They often get into fights because of this very reason; failure to pay rent or for groceries often spark up heated conversations and arguments between couples which often leads to major damage.
Another very common reason for divorce these days is infidelity. A lot of couples part ways because they find other people more compatible than their own spouses and tend to have extra marital affairs with other people. This often leads to messy divorces and bad mouthing.
Divorces often happen as a result of lack of communication, either physically or emotionally. When one spouse is physically or emotionally unavailable, the other feels alone and distant and may think negatively. Such negativity often breaks relationships and does damage beyond control.
Other reasons of divorce includes toxic relationships and patriarchal families, domestic or sexual violence, alcohol or drug abuse.
Conclusion
Divorces are a complicated and an exhausting process, something that not only exhausts your mental and physical capacity but also your finances, routine and future too. But getting a divorce is way better than staying in a toxic relationship and holding ends when there is really no chance of survival. Even after years of staying committed to one partner, couples feel there is no intimacy and compatibility and often marry someone else they feel connected to, and honestly, that’s better.
There should be no set time and age to marry, happiness should be timeless. And people should be allowed to seek that happiness in their lives, even if it means remarrying someone else. Of course acts like infidelity and abuse are not encouraged, going through the process the right way is important.
